I started this blog few month ago with high spirits. To share my limited knowledge and offer some guidance to my colleagues taking internal medicine.
I've always wondered why despite 3 postings(180 people) who have taken medicine, less than 10 is willing to share. Like i've always said, We need to complete each other, not compete with each other. Holding on to this, I tried my best to offer guidance to my colleagues, whoever interested.
But it seems that i overlooked the dangers of teaching, especially in a medical faculty. Different people have different styles and these people always say other methods are wrong except for their own.
Therefore, my opinion may differ from other people. Although i am 101% positive i am right, how am i going to argue with an MMed or MRCP's opinion?
and some not so nice comments also passed from mouth to mouth that I am being "too free". The irony is, i am in O&G. So i think i must be very brilliant such that someone noticed me of being too free in this hellish posting.
Some wind told me about getting arrogant, from my style of walking etc etc
Come on.....some times i walked a little fast and maybe limping to one side because i have chronic back pain of unknown origin(possibly due to my mattress contour). Not trying to look like a consultant or something. And most of the mistakes i corrected is MY mistakes. In every little advice i give, i was hoping the receiver will be far far above me in the exams by not repeating every little stupid mistake i make.
If you think its useless, you can just assume i am singing a very lousy song. If you think i'm being too fussy over small small mistakes, trust me, the consultants you will be meeting will be far more fussy than i am. If i don't know an answer to a question you asked, i will say i don't know, i will offer a possible explaination, i will ask you to look it up and up to you to prove me wrong! If you choose to swallow whatever i said, then whose fault it is?
So the best thing in my mind now is, don't ask me anything, go find from books. Any questions from now onwards will meet a same universal answer from me -->"I don't Know".
And 1 most irritating things going around is that i only share with my "gang". Whoever is my "gang" i don't know, but so far, i think i've never turned down any request for advice or guidance.
Some people find it irritating for me to question them. They want everything to come out from me for me to absorb. But believe me, questioning is a method to know where you stand. If i do not ask the questions that had been asked in short and long case, how are they going to know what to expect? Sometimes, i may ask some quite "unimportant" questions, this is to scare you into studying so that you will excel......not to,like yi hui put it, "berlagak" that i know the thing in front of you!
Sometimes, i overestimated people's level and sometimes, i underestimate. Trust me, this is disastrous.
In my medicine posting last time, how i hope that someone will offer some guide to me. How i hope someone will show me what short case is like. How i hope to know how long case feels like. Luckily, i have a very dedicated supervisor and registrar who did just that, with liberal amount of tachycardia, of course. Which is why i wanted to give exactly the same thing to my colleagues, without the tachycardia.
But i just seem to create a not so nice environment for myself. Feel weird that people don't even smile at me when i pass through the corridors in the Medicine wards. Really, i am 190 cm tall, its not that hard to saw me isn't it?
Back in my form 6 days, i used to generate a wonderful bond with all my friends in our Biology study group. I tried to apply the same idea here, unfortunately the early results seem to fail quite miserably. My style is terrible and incompatible here
therefore, my point is i am not giving any more teaching or guide to anyone anymore. It's not worth sacrificing my image for it.
Before i get labelled as a Consultoid (Yew yew teach me this term haha) by other people, i'd better quit now:)
PPD component
I learn that medical students are just too smart to be cared for :)
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