Just for laughs

If this really happen in the court, i must really salute lawyers. Looks like medical students are not the only one memorising scripts :P

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering whyI was doing an autopsy on him!


ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have youperformed on dead people?WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on deadpeople. Would you like to rephrase that?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?


ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls! ?
WITNESS: Are you sh****n' me? Your Honor, I think Ineed a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was getting laid!

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a persondies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until thenext morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?


ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient wasalive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, ! Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still beenalive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

Haha..........wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.. special thanx to kohging for this post